Throughout my 13 years as a relationship coach and psychotherapist, I have witnessed many people go through the suffering and pain of a breakup. There really is no time frame as to when one gets over the former relationship partner. Usually the person who terminated the relationship handles the break up the easiest. The other person has to grieve the loss, and, many times have no contact with them until the energy or charge subsides. Continuing contact without a break period typically re-triggers the grieving cycle all over again. The grieving period can be anywhere from 3 months to a year. After a year, grieving can become unhealthy. It’s important to get on with our lives and focus on ourselves, get coaching and/or therapy, so when we’re ready we can attract a healthy partner. The other important piece is to have a completion conversation with your former lover. This conversation is about taking 100% responsibility for the relationship. In fact, you may have to have many completion conversations to become totally free. Once the majority of the energy is reduced around the loss of the relationship and the person, friendship becomes a possibility. The relationship from the past disappears and a new relationship is created from a blank slate.
Gratitude,
Rusty
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