Agreements are one of the most important factors in relationships. And then getting alignment on these agreements is paramount in any relationship. The trust will be built between you to a large extent by honoring these agreements. So make sure when you discuss agreements that you are not just saying yes to them for the hell of it. I learned a valuable lesson in my last relationship around agreements. First of all there basically were none. That won’t work for anyone as there is no structure and no accountability. The one agreement I did articulate about was disagreed to by my partner. I declined her counter-offered agreement. That set me up to disrespect myself by choosing to stay in the relationship. The agreement was so important to me and I dismissed her declining the agreement and stayed in the relationship anyway. I will get more into the requirements, or non-negotiables in a relationship in another blog. Safe to say, this agreement was one of my non-negotiables. As a result I was unhappy, buried my resentment, and was dishonoring my self expression. Don’t put yourself in the position I was in. And, I am 100% responsible for staying in a relationship that was not working for me. There are many, many agreements that can be part of any relationship. Alternative relationships require more care around agreements since their relationships are more open than the traditional monogamous relationships. Again, another topic for another time. In summary, create, align, and keep your agreements. Be your word and be in integrity. And last but not least, hold yourself and your partner accountable. It will make all the difference between a so so relationship and an extraordinary relationship. All the best!
Gratitude,
Dr. Rusty
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